Jim Henson's second attempt at attracting a broad audience is more marketable than "The Dark Crystal", with George Lucas involved in the production, and David Bowie as the Goblin King. It features Jennifer Connelly as Sarah, a teenage girl tasked with looking after
her baby brother. She views this as unfair, and wishes for him to be banished from her by the Goblin King. Her wish is granted, and when she realizes her mistake, the Goblin King gives her 13 hours to walk through his giant maze leading to his castle, where many
strange creatures await.
The special effects are a mixed bag. While the set design is creative, and the puppetry is as good as ever in a Henson film, there's also a heavy reliance on blue-screen. Bowie might seem like a strange casting choice for a movie coming from the same people as "Sesame Street" - his image is
not exactly family-friendly! But the filmmakers seemed to know this, adding in a subtle sexual undertone between him and Sarah. His performance is also iconic, complete with singing, makeup, and a puffy mullet. "Labyrinth" is a lighter, safer adventure than "The Dark Crystal", and doesn't have the same
tight pacing, as Sarah encounters many dead ends in the maze. But it's commendable that Henson collaborated with an unlikely star such as Bowie, and with a glossy MTV style, this is a flawed but enjoyable production.
Available on VHS, Betamax, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: B-
"The Last Dragon" extends the fusion of urban black culture and martial arts that was established with "Enter the Dragon". It features an emerging martial artist who wants to follow in the footsteps of Bruce Lee, looking for the legendary Master Sum Dum Goy. Another martial artist who claims to be the "Shogun of Harlem"
challenges him through intimidation with his gang. Meanwhile, a video arcade tycoon is unable to get his girlfriend on a popular TV show, and when he resorts to threats, our protagonist intervenes, causing the businessman to enlist the help of the Shogun.
This is a very 80's production - the mogul's girlfriend is shown in a series of MTV-style music videos that feel like a parody, and "Rhythm of the Night" by DeBarge is prominently heard. While it builds on the foundation that "Enter the Dragon" created, what it adds is a black
martial artist who doesn't get killed off in the first half. The action sequences are cartoonish, but they aren't trying to be realistic, and are entertaining for their over-the-top nature. The Shogun practically screams all of his lines, for instance.
"The Last Dragon" wasn't a critical success, but it's fun as a time capsule of 80's pop culture, as well as a fusion between black and Asian culture.
Available on VHS, Betamax, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: B
Of all the James Bond movies, this one would have to be my favorite. It reinvents the Bond formula, with an unprecedented level of intensity, as well as a plot that diverges from the traditional spy narrative.
It begins with Bond seemingly accomplishing his mission of capturing Sanchez, a ruthless drug lord, just in time to attend a wedding. But when Sanchez escapes, he gets revenge on Bond by murdering his friend's wife.
After turning down a mission in Istanbul, Bond gets his license to kill revoked, but goes after Sanchez anyway.
This is the first Bond movie to be rated PG-13, as well as the only one to come close to an R rating. You can really feel the relentless energy of Sanchez. At one point, a Hong Kong police officer
bites a cyanide pill, but Sanchez still shoots him, signifying that death will be on his terms. You are also given a reason to care about Bond's mission, because it isn't an assignment - it's a forbidden quest to seek justice
for his friend. Timothy Dalton reportedly read the Ian Fleming novels on set, and he plays Bond perfectly, with a mix of gritty and suave energy that has never been matched. "Licence to Kill" has some of the most exciting moments
in the 60 years that James Bond movies have been made, and while it is a one-off, lacking the long-term impact of "Goldfinger", you owe it to yourself to see it.
Available on VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: A-
This tale of teenage rebellion deserves more credit. Starring the Two Coreys, it satirizes the DMV. Corey Haim plays Les, a high school student who wants to impress a girl named Mercedes. After failing the written portion of his driver's test, he hits the computer
in frustration, causing the system to short-circuit. He is given the benefit of the doubt, and is allowed to complete the road test, which is completely different depending on the instructor. Although he passes, the written portion is retrieved, and his license is taken from him. Not wanting to give up
on his crush, he takes the car out for a midnight spin anyway, where him, his friends, and Mercedes get into a variety of wacky situations.
The movie leans into the unfairness of driving instruction, and has a clever sense of progression, as the car gets damaged over the course of our protagonist's adventure. Some of the humor is dated, such as when Corey Feldman's character takes pictures of Mercedes while she's
passed-out drunk. But this exists to provide a contrast between the Two Coreys. "License to Drive" is a fun ride in the style of "Ferris Bueller", and perfectly captures an adolescent perspective of authority. By the way, the soundtrack is very 80's, but very catchy.
Available on VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: B
Based on the 1967 novel, "Logan's Run" took a few liberties. The basic premise is still the same - a domed society of total pleasure has its inhabitants executed at a set age to control overpopulation. Those who try to escape are called Runners, and Logan is a Sandman tasked with tracking down and killing them. When he is tasked to find and destroy the Sanctuary that Runners are looking for, the central
computer system disguises him as a Runner, cutting his lifespan by several years. A short time away from Lastday, the day of execution, Logan decides to become a Runner himself.
While the film is supposed to take place in the 2270's, it very much looks like a 1970's interpretation of the future, with groovy fashion and hairstyles, huge computers, and sparkly interior design. But that's part of the charm - despite depicting a dystopian future, it also serves as a time capsule. What I can't defend is the changes made to the story, including changing the age of execution from 21 to 30, which reduces
the tension, and killing the inhabitants in a cheesy-looking vortex. The pacing also slows down in the middle, as Logan escapes the society and finds barren wastelands. Still, I found the film entertaining for its concept, and most of it keeps Logan moving, as he confronts combat-drugged teenagers, enters a laser-powered cosmetic facility, and runs through a nude crowd in a strobe-lit room. The ending also improves upon the novel -
a cleaner conclusion. "Logan's Run" is a flawed adaptation, with 70's Hollywood constraints, but on its own, it's an enjoyable adventure.
Available on VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: B+
Long before Peter Jackson's trilogy, there was Ralph Bakshi's attempt to animate the first two J.R.R. Tolkien novels and fit them into 133 minutes. "The Lord of the Rings" disappointed fans in 1978, who felt it was unfinished, but it really isn't bad. It captures the basic elements, with Frodo Baggins
going on his quest to destroy the One Ring, which has the powers of the dark lord Sauron. The only place it can be destroyed is Mount Doom, where it was forged. A wizard named Gandalf tries to enlist the help of his friend Saruman, but he surmises that Middle Earth can't win, and joins with Sauron, bringing forth an army of Orcs.
Frodo and his friends come across creatures such as Gollum, who has wasted away from the powers of the Ring.
For some reason, Saruman is pronounced "Aruman", and Gollum's voice is much less threatening. The animation starts off gorgeous, but it declines in quality as the movie progresses. This, along with the credits rolling immediately after winning the Battle of Helms Deep, suggests that resources were running low during the production.
Still, the action is grittier than in the Peter Jackson trilogy, making it stand on its own, and it's the only adaptation with an audience-friendly runtime. "The Lord of the Rings" is not the epic that fans might expect, but it has glimmers of inspiration for the trilogy that started in 2001.
Available on VHS, Betamax, CED, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: B-
It's kind of difficult to parody something that is already ridiculous. "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra" pokes fun at 50's B-movies, but the humor doesn't land, because in 50's B-movies, the comedy comes from being unintentional. A scientist searches for a meteorite that contains an element called atmospherium, which he wants for research. Another scientist
wants it to resurrect a skeleton, all while aliens want it for rocket fuel.
A lot of effort was put into making this look like a low-budget science-fiction movie, with alien costumes made of household items. But the jokes are exaggerated versions of common tropes, which breaks the illusion. "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra" isn't very funny, but if nothing else, it's a love letter to cult cinema.
Available on VHS and DVD
Grade: C
In this sequel to the groundbreaking classic, the action is bigger and bolder, but the core theme is a retread of its predecessor. John Hammond plans to relocate the dinosaurs of Jurassic Park to Isla Sorna, where they are used for research. InGen, the company
behind the park, won't give up so easily, and they hire mercenaries to take the creatures by force, so that Jurassic Park can be brought to San Diego.
Jeff Goldblum reprises his role as Dr. Ian Malcolm, and he was a fan favorite in the original, but this time, he's the central protagonist. That sounds great, but he works better as a side character, lacking the energy needed to carry the film. While
the action sequences are well-directed, with midnight dinosaur chases under flashing spotlights, they sometimes defy logic, like when Malcolm's daughter uses her gymnastics skills to kill a raptor. Once a T-rex is in San Diego, you begin to feel less like you're
watching "Jurassic Park", and more like you're watching an old kaiju movie. "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" has Spielberg's magic visual touch, but it doesn't add anything thematically meaningful to the series.
Available on VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: B-
"Lucas" toes the line between a sports movie, a teen romance, and a tragicomedy. It stars Corey Haim as Lucas, a socially awkward 14-year-old, who develops a crush on a 16-year-old girl. They become friends, but Lucas wants more, and
experiences heartbreak when she falls for the football captain. Although the football captain is the only member of the team who isn't a bully, Lucas devises a plan to win his crush over, joining the football team despite being small and physically unfit.
Although there are many movies about teenagers falling for each other, "Lucas" speaks to the reality that sometimes, your crush won't like you back. However, the juxtaposition of friendship and longing, and how to balance the two, is what especially makes it special.
There is a scene toward the end that has me in tears every time. I have had unrequited crushes, and while this may look like a typical coming-of-age drama, it speaks to me in a way no other movie does. "Lucas" was a breakout hit for Corey Haim, and it's really incredible how
well he acted at 13.
Available on VHS, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: A