I haven't seen the original "Vacation" as of writing this review, and one of the core complaints of "European Vacation" is that it essentially replicates the first film. But from my frame of reference,
it's a mixed bag. It follows the Griswalds as they win a game show, with a trip to Europe as their prize. While there, they get into all sorts of wacky situations.
The slapstick is tired, but the movie has a bit of an edge, with a fair amount of shock humor. 13-year-old Audrey is aggressively kissed by the host on the game show, and has a nightmare sequence that parodies eating disorders.
Clark misplaces a nude video of his wife, which gets advertised as a new porno. And 15-year-old Rusty spends the entire family vacation trying to get laid, leading to some moments that push the PG-13 rating. Fans of "Monty Python"
will also be pleasantly surprised by the appearance of Eric Idle. "European Vacation" is mediocre as a slapstick comedy, but there are laughs here and there.
Available on VHS, Betamax, CED, LaserDisc, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: C+
"Never Say Never Again" is not an official Bond film. Produced by Warner Bros, the studio only had the rights to the novel "Thunderball", and reimagined that for an older Sean Connery. This time, Bond is called back into action
as a criminal organization breaks into the US nuclear weapon supply, attempting to extort money from NATO. When Bond tracks down the stolen warheads, he comes between the criminal mastermind and his girlfriend, who is played by Kim Basinger.
The way that the weapon supply is broken into is by means of a false eye, which has the same retinal pattern as the US President. This, along with a lengthy sequence where Bond and the villain play an arcade game that inflicts pain, makes this feel less
like James Bond and more like Inspector Gadget. The action sequences are forgettable, because they do little to distinguish themselves from 1965's "Thunderball". Still, with Jazzercise prominently featured, there is 80's charm, and the filmmakers seemed
self-aware about the story's absurdity. Sean Connery doesn't try to recreate his performance as Bond in the 60's, instead acknowledging his age. "Never Say Never Again" may not be a Bond movie in the traditional sense, but think of it as a lighter take on the
character.
Available on VHS, Betamax, CED, LaserDisc, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: C+
Panned by critics upon release, "A Night at the Roxbury" tried to elevate SNL into Hollywood territory, a feat that worked with "Wayne's World", but led to box office failure here. It stars Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan as two club-hopping brothers who want to get into the Roxbury, a highly exclusive nightclub.
When they accidentally get their car hit by a cast member of "21 Jump Street", he lets them in as compensation. The brothers then mistakenly believe that their status is elevated, while their father tries to get them to live an ordinary life.
While this is not highbrow comedy, it encapsulates the late 90's nightclub scene, and the two leads deliver an energetic performance that is sometimes awkward, but never boring. Will Ferrell's performance also serves as a blueprint for his later,
more successful comedies, where he plays similar characters. "A Night at the Roxbury" knows what it is, and doesn't try to be anything more. With that mindset, it's not that bad - at the very least, you'll be surprised when it pushes the PG-13 envelope, a rarity for movies made after 1990. And at 81 minutes, it's low-investment.
Available on VHS, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: C+
Prior to having seen it, I had never heard of "The Night Before". In 1988, Keanu Reeves wasn't the A-list actor he would later become, but this dark comedy shows early promise. It features a teen waking up not knowing where he is. Gradually, his memory is jogged, and we see that he is a high school nerd who got his crush to
reluctantly go to the prom with him, only to wind up accidentally selling her to a pimp. When he intervenes to try and make things right, the pimp sets out to kill him.
Reeves has much of the energy he would bring to "Bill & Ted" a year later, but it's interesting to see it combined with this kind of subject matter. Speaking of which, it's not easy to make humor of sex trafficking, but this movie does it by shrouding it in mystery, which gives shock factor that is especially effective given the prom night setup. "The Night Before" is one of the most interesting 80's
teen comedies you've never seen.
Available on VHS and DVD
Grade: B
In 1984, the traditional slasher formula was losing traction, which was why Wes Craven did what he did best - reinvent it. Fred Kreuger was a child murderer who the entire neighborhood helped burn to death. However, rather than ending the rampage, it led to him being banished to
another dimension, where he now seeks revenge by invading the dreams of the children of his killers.
The concept alone is brilliant, because it plays with the notion of safety that comes with sleeping, as well as the ambiguity that comes with the afterlife. Freddy is less present in this first installment than later ones, but the movie conveys the impending sense that he's coming through its atmosphere,
and the kills are often shown from an outsider's perspective, which makes the surreal invade the mundane. If I had one complaint, it would be that some of the special effects are dated, such as when Freddy extends his arms. But that's nitpicking in a revolutionary start to a franchise that saved New Line Cinema.
Available on VHS, Betamax, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: A-
This sequel to "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is decidedly strange. It does away with the rules established in its predecessor, and turns the series in a homoerotic direction. A new family moves into the house Nancy lived in when she first defeated Freddy Kreuger. But this time, another high school student named Jesse finds himself
dreaming he is Freddy, only to find dead bodies in front of him when he wakes up.
The idea of Freddy possessing his victims and forcing them to kill people creates a completely different tone, as Jesse is essentially a tortured character making devastating and irreversible decisions against his will. While the body horror angle is conveyed well, it leaves a depressing aftertaste. Still, the movie deserves credit for building on
the association between sex and death - one of the kills involves a naked gym teacher being beaten with a belt, and having a "final boy" subverts the expectations of the genre. "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2" is a detour for the franchise, with few appearances of Freddy, and a concept that was immediately done away with. But it succeeds at what it tries to do.
Available on VHS, Betamax, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: B-
This might be controversial, but I consider this third installment to be the best in the series. It features Kristen, another teenager who is haunted by dreams of Freddy Kreuger. When Freddy makes her look like she's cutting herself, she gets sent to a psychiatric facility, where she meets other teenagers with similar nightmares. Despite the facility's objections,
Nancy returns to help them.
The lore of Freddy Kreuger is expanded upon in a way that had lasting effects for the franchise, with characters able to pull one another into dreams, thus collaborating to fight Freddy. The deaths are more creative than ever, personalized to each character's mental health struggles, and this is the only installment where Freddy has his trademark one-liners but still manages to be genuinely scary.
On a more personal note, I connect with this movie as someone who has been in a dark place. "A Nightmare on Elm Street 3" seamlessly balances emotional weight with entertainment in a way the second was unable to do, and while the original is generally considered the best for its innovation, this entry perfects the established elements.
Available on VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: A
This "Nightmare" has kills that have often been described as "MTV-like". A nude model under a waterbed morphs into Freddy, a math test has its text rearranged to read "Learning is Fun with Freddy", and one character turns into a cockroach. But the movie
shoots itself in the foot by killing off the characters that made "Dream Warriors" memorable. In this installment, Freddy starts another rampage by means of the Dream Children's friends. While the death sequences are the most out-there in the series, they lack the emotional weight
of the third, making this a respectable slasher, but disappointing as a follow-up to "Dream Warriors".
Available on VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: B
The first four "Nightmare" installments all had something that stood out about them, even if some were better than others. This one does not. "The Dream Child" explores the idea of one of the survivors being pregnant, and her connection to Freddy being transferred to her offspring.
This is a great idea for a darker twist. But Freddy leans so heavily into one-liners that he's no longer scary. There's also a lot of confusing dream logic. "A Nightmare on Elm Street 5" isn't bad, but it shows hints of the franchise running out of steam.
Available on VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: C-
This psychological horror film was highly influential for an unexpected individual - Lemony Snicket! The story follows a serial killer posing as a preacher in order to get closer to a Southern family's inheritance. Despite his unconvincing get-up, all the adults in the town believe him, putting their children in danger.
Much like in "Psycho", the decision to shoot the film in black-and-white creates an unsettling atmosphere with pronounced contrast. What especially makes the movie effective is its balance of terror and absurdity, acting as a commentary on conservative small-town society. My only complaint is that a happy ending was added, which undercuts the tension
and feels studio-mandated. Otherwise, "The Night of the Hunter" is a classic.
Available on VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: A-
This Swedish action movie goes for $40 on eBay for an out-of-print VHS. But don't bother, because it quickly becomes apparent why no one bothered to keep it from obscurity. A scientist works on a nuclear device that explodes its targets, but when it falls into the hands of KGB agents, the CIA enlists the help
of a ninja to infiltrate Soviet Russia.
How did I obtain this plot? From Wikipedia! I barely stayed awake while watching it, due to its surprising lack of action. Instead, there are long stretches of the ninja sneaking around the guards. The concept behind the weapon is ridiculous, but not ridiculous enough to save the movie from its flatly-delivered dubbing and generic plot. "The Ninja Mission" is about as uninteresting as the title.
Available on VHS and Betamax
Grade: F