Jerry Spray's Movie Reviews
I review movies on a grade scale from A to F. Here is some basic information about the movies:
Grades:
A: Leaving a positive lasting impression on cinema or the viewer
A-: Groundbreaking or powerful, but flawed
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B+: Not groundbreaking, but cleverly made
B: Fun to watch
B-: Fun, but with occasional annoyances
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C+ Average with a few bright spots
C: Average
C-: Average, but leaves a bad taste in your mouth
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D+: Poorly made, but has potential
D: Poorly made, but watchable
D-: Barely watchable
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F: Unwatchable
NOTE ABOUT GRADES: Every movie is graded in the context of its genre, as well as what it tried to do. For example, a low-budget horror film may get the same grade as a prestige drama, even if the drama is objectively "better". This is not a traditional movie review site, so don't take the grades too seriously. Also, there is no A+. Why? Because
I didn't grow up with A+ in school, so it doesn't feel natural. Deal with it.
Technical Specs:
C: Color
B/W: Black-and-white
m: Minutes
Home Media Formats
Every review will be followed by the home media formats it was released for. Here is a guide to the different kinds of media and when they were produced.
Videocassettes
Betamax: 1975-2002
Popular as a rival to VHS in the early 80's.
VHS: 1977-2006
Competed with Betamax, then emerged in the late 80's as the dominant format, which it was up to the early 2000's.
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Analog Videodiscs
LaserDisc: 1978-2001
Superior in quality to VHS, but huge in size and requires flipping the disc every 30 minutes.
CED: 1981-1986
A vinyl videodisc that was prone to reliability issues.
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Digital Videodiscs
DVD: Since 1997
Resembling a CD, with special features and digital sound. It has standard resolution and is prone to skipping, but is still widely used.
UMD: 2004-2017
The PlayStation Portable's proprietary format.
Blu-Ray: Since 2006
Like a DVD, but with high definition, enhanced sound, and skip protection. Sought after by film buffs.
HD DVD: 2006-2008
The short-lived competitor to Blu-Ray.
Blu-Ray 3D: Since 2009
The 3D version of Blu-Ray, with limited support.
UHD: Since 2016
Blu-Ray with 4K resolution and support for object-based surround sound. Even more sought after by film buffs.
What to Expect with MPAA Ratings
G: GENERAL AUDIENCES: All Ages Admitted
Before ~1977: May contain mature themes, but technically minimal explicit content. Examples:
"2001: A Space Odyssey"
"Planet of the Apes"
"The Andromeda Strain"
~1977 to ~1999: Aimed at kids. Examples:
"The Muppet Movie"
"The Land Before Time"
"The Little Mermaid"
2000's and beyond: Contains virtually nothing offensive.
WHY? A G rating was quickly stigmatized by audiences as "baby stuff". When the summer blockbuster came along in the late 70's, studios expanded the definition of PG to
accommodate a wider range of movies. Throughout the 80's and 90's, it was designated for children's material, but as the Disney Renaissance ended, studios realized that kids were getting
tired of cartoons and fairy tales. So they adapted mature subject matter in a way that was appropriate for them, thus reducing G to hardly anything.
PG: PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED: Some Material May Not Be Suitable For Children
Before 1984: Parents should decide if their kids are ready to see the movie. Examples:
"Jaws"
"Raiders of the Lost Ark"
"Poltergeist"
1984 to ~1989: May still contain adult content, but not too intense for a wide audience. Examples:
"The Goonies"
"Back to the Future"
"Top Gun"
90's: Aimed at children, but with appeal for adults. Examples:
"Casper"
"Antz"
"The Iron Giant"
2000's and beyond: Clearly for kids, but technically featuring mild adult content. Examples:
"Happy Feet"
"Frozen"
"Trolls"
WHY? PG was originally a warning, but when it became profitable in the late 70's, parents began misinterpreting what it meant. After several movies that Spielberg helped make caused outrage over their
intensity, PG-13 was created as a midpoint between PG and R in 1984. For the next several years, a PG rating still allowed a fair amount of adult content. But studios quickly realized that they could make more money
by pushing the envelope. In the 90's, PG was bumped down to movies aimed at kids, but that parents would want to take their kids to. After the Disney Renaissance, this was a lucrative rating for animation,
leading to its current reputation as "kid stuff".
PG-13: PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED: Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13
1984 to ~1989: A more intense warning for parents to consider the maturity of their child. Examples:
"Red Dawn"
"Weird Science"
"Killer Klowns from Outer Space"
90's and early 2000's: May still contain intense adult content, but not too explicit for a wide audience. Examples:
"Jurassic Park"
"GoldenEye"
"Twister"
Since ~2004: Uses strategic editing to maximize the rating's creative territory without backlash. Examples:
"Taken"
"Happy Death Day"
"Venom"
WHY? PG-13 was originally meant for movies that toed the line between PG and R. But by the late 80's, studios had realized they could make money by taking PG properties and shifting them
in a darker direction. This changed perception of what the rating meant, from "Parents Strongly Cautioned" to "Summer Blockbuster Material". After the 2004 Super Bowl incident with Janet Jackson,
there was a push for R-rated properties to be made PG-13, causing the awkward editing you see today. Thus, PG-13 has absorbed PG and R, rather than bridging the gap.
R: RESTRICTED: Under 17 Requires Accompanying Parent Or Adult Guardian
Before 1984: Not necessarily graphic, but clearly aimed at a mature audience. Examples:
"Blazing Saddles"
"Halloween"
"The Jerk"
Since 1984: Contains content too explicit for unrestricted audiences. Examples:
"RoboCop"
"Reservoir Dogs"
"The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"
WHY? PG-13's creation in 1984 caused movies that would have been R to be given the new rating, designating R to more explicit material. However, PG-13 has the broadest audience reach, which is
why the R rating has a negative stigma when it comes to blockbusters. It is still a common rating for prestige films, as well as franchises built on gore and nudity. But studios avoid it whenever they can.
NC-17: NO ONE 17 AND UNDER ADMITTED
Contains adult content that studios are uncomfortable with.
WHY? NC-17 was created in 1990 to replace the X rating, which had come to be associated with porn. But after a few years, NC-17 became a cultural shorthand for X, causing studios to avoid it like the plague.
The MPAA is notorious for arbitrarily assigning NC-17 ratings, largely based on what they interpret as exploitative. The difference between an R and an NC-17 could be a few seconds of a sex scene or graphic murder.
Many movie theaters don't show NC-17 movies, and many TV stations don't market them, making the rating even less visible than G.
NR: NOT RATED
Alphabetized reviews:
A